Losing it...Finally!

As some of you know, I have been battling the bulge

for a while. This is something I never thought

would happen to me. But a series of events and some

poor health choices caused me to pack on the lbs!

I am finally getting to the point where I can talk about

it, instead of complain & feel bad. I made a choice to

really do something about it, and I feel like I literally

GOT MY LIFE BACK! It's been hard, but I'm almost there!

I have 12lbs left to go before I'm back to my high school weight!

That is a HUGE accomplishment, and I have decided to

tell you why. I have decided to talk about it because

I recently found out the same thing about a friend

of mine, and talking about it together has been one

of the most helpful & "freeing" things for me.

In high school I was very active. I love sports and running,

and I did those things often. I would go to the track and

run a mile while weeding the bleechers in between

every lap. I took aerobics & kickboxing.

I had a weights class...I was at the top of my game!

But... only my closest friends know that I developed an

eating disorder. It started when I got sick, lost some weight,

people noticed & it became and obsession. I became bulimic.

Other crazy things that were going on in my life certainly

contributed to it, but it was a difficult thing for me.

I was able to hide it for a while, but luckily a couple of

my INCREDIBLE friends helped me stop. Around that

time I met my AMAZING husband Jared. I am a

huge believer in keeping your promises, and we had a

talk and I made a promise to him that I would not hurt

myself that way any longer. Since that very day I have

kept my promise to him. Just writting it down like that

sounds so easy, but as highschool eventually ended & I

stopped being so active- it got REALLY hard. I started

gaining weight. Not a lot at first, but gradually. Then I got

on birth control- and up, uP, UP I went! It was really

hard for me to work out with my job, and I became really

depressed. This state of being lasted for way too long.

And I want to keep this as short as possible, but in a

nutshell- I lost myself...

Here are a couple pictures of me at my worst!

I may be smiling, but I can count count on both hands

the number of pictures ever taken during this

dark period of my life!

(Trip to Washington DC)

(Chelsee, Kristen, Shanda & I- at S's grad party)

Now those days are finally over. I made a concious, commited
desicion to change. No more wallowing in my self pitty,
no more excuses! Only a promise to work on self-talk,
and becoming the woman who I knew was inside. I was sick
of hiding! I was sick of missing out on the life I knew
I could have, but wouldn't participate in because I felt
like I just couldn't lose the weight.

In mid-June I decided that I wasn't sitting on the sideline of life
anymore, and I wasn't sitting on the beach for our
family vacation to Newport Beach coming up just over a
month away. I HAD to do something! SO I DID.
I started a restricted calorie diet, and got out the excercize
equipment collecting dust in the attic. I changed my
lifestyle, and got serious about re-claiming my life.
My family was really supportive, and I'm so thankful
for their help & encouragement.
Jared was SO supportive, especially because he saw
me activly trying, and progressing instead of talking
about how bad I "wished" I could change.

To date I have lost a total of 37lbs! It has very
hard! LOTS of cravings, and even more temptation!
But I am BACK, I have a new outlook, a brighter
spirit, a happier, healthier, more active lifestyle.
I am LOVING life instead of floating through it.
It's been too long, and I have truly learned the biggest
lesson in living life to the fullest. I have grown so
much in this journey, and I love how much everything
is changing because I decided to change and have a better
attitude & perpective on things.

Here are the newest pictures- I got the sparkle back,
and it's never going away again!

(Snapshot in my old fav Lucky jeans! I'm back to living in Buckle!)
I actually WANTED to smile for this one!

Thanks to everyone whose been so supportive!

And thank you even more to my loving, patient

husband who has shown he really will love me

though "thick & thin"!

PS- I didn't sit on the beach for vacation, I played in the ocean in my bikini!!!

Newport Beach 09 baby!!!

Silly Luxury?... I think not!

My great love... FLOWERS

I don't care what kind, I don't care how many,

I don't care what occasion, I'd prefer great aroma,

but give em' all to me- cause I LOVE FLOWERS!

Ask anyone who knows me well, and they will

be able to tell you how much I LOVE FLOWERS!!!!

Someone asked me if I could have a "silly luxury"

what would I chose? I don't consider it very silly,

but I would have FRESH beautiful flowers in

every room of my home, and as soon as they

hinted at wilting, I'd have them replaced with more!

As for now... I'll settle for my faux florals- they 

CAN be just as pretty, but nothing tops the real thing.

Happy Father's Day!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY!

I had to take time to write you and tell you how much

I love you and how thankful I am that you are MY dad.

I was the first one after all, to actually make you a dad. 

I have a card to give you, and I'll save what I want to 

say for it, but I thought I'd let you know on here.

I hope you have a WONDERFUL day, and that you

can finally relax & enjoy spending time with our 

family. No meetings! YAY! ;)

LOVE YOU! ~Megs

 

(Above)

 Me, Dad, Colin- our office, my Jr. year of high school.

Me, Mom & Dad- first professional family photo.

Daddy feeding apples to the horsies with me!

One of my favorite pics of us. 

Sleepin' with the babe(7 months) after a long day.

Holding that lil' scrawny thing(2 months)! LOL 

Take it or leave it...

I feel after a couple conversations/confrontations during the last 

two weeks that I just need to really stand up for myself. 

I am not going to go into extreme specifics even though I want to. 

THIS IS ME PEOPLE!!!! This is me. I am Meg...

I have made decisions in my life, and I stand by them.

It's been quite some time, 8 years to be exact, since 

I decided to no longer be in the church I was raised in. 

Apparently to some people that makes me the freaking devil, 

but that's your problem if you think that- because I'm not. 

The issues are exhausted, and there are SO MANY details that I can 

hardly begin to go into. But I am so sick and tired of 

being judged and being treated like less of a person because 

of the choices I have made for MY life. 

The tip-toeing around the subject has gone on long enough.

I have lost many friends over this, and even some extended family 

members treat me different now. It saddens me that people

care so much over certain details, and can't see past it to

just accept me for who I am. 

I accept you, no matter who or what you are. I love you

for the person that you are no matter who or what you choose.

I can't understand why people are so closed minded!???

Do I make you feel bad, and treat you like crap because

you DO go to church, or choose something different?

I wouldn't, and couldn't because it's WHO YOU ARE.

I accept that and think it's great. You can be whatever you want!

I feel sad that I have to even write this post, to me, it seems like

it's just SO unnecessary. I know that things are said behind

my back. Comments, conversations, snide remarks...

But it wasn't until this past week that it has all culminated to

the point where I can't sit here anymore and pretend.

I realize that a lot of people don't know any different,

so they assume that I cannot be happy.

That is a sad assumption. I have the same everyday stresses

that we all go through, but I have never been happier with my life.

I think that people spend too much time judging and tearing other

people down. All I want to do sometimes is hold up a mirror. 

I want to say "What makes you so much better than me?".

Why can't people do what they are taught, and be "Christlike"?

Do you think Jesus would lecture me, and tell me I'm such a 

horrible person for not going to church, and try to make

me feel like I'm less than him? You know the answer.

Despite how people can treat me, I'm not angry, I'm used to it.

I just won't sit here & pretend like I don't have anything to say back.

So just like when church people stand up and "challenge"

you to do something, I challenge you this...

I challenge you to to take a lesson in acceptance. I challenge

you to not judge people when it's not your place to do so,

and instead, to step outside your comfort level & and love them 

for who they are instead of what you would rather they be.

It's amazing the things you'll learn, and see. 

That goes for EVERYONE, take a walk back to the golden rule.

Treat people like you'd want to be treated.

This is me. I am Meg. Take it or leave it...

PS- I realize I may be stirring the pot, what else is new?

 You can e-mail me megbrown1112@hotmail.com if you don't want 

your comment to show on my blog. I understand.

WiThDrAwLs!!!!!!!

I would just like you all to know that I am doing a special

detox right now... part of it is no sugar...

I am going through MAJOR withdrawals.....

THIS chocolate is all I want to eat right now!!!

HELP!

New name...

That's right! I now work for....

Cardon Children's Medical Center!

The Banner company has decided to change the

name of Banner Children's Medical Center to

Cardon Children's Medical Center.

Many of you know the the Cardon family that is well

known here in Mesa, donated 10 million dollars

to help finish building the new 7 story children's hospital

here on the Banner Desert Campus(US-60 & Dobson).

I already work for the children's hospital here in the NICU,

and we will be expanding into the new portion being built.

I thought it would be fun to show our celebrity visitor,

who came to help with the un-veiling of the new name...

None other than Cindy Crawford herself!

Go figure- she know's the Cardon's, and is do some PR

work to get the name out there.

Here are a couple of pictures of her visit with some of the

oncology kiddos. Pretty cool! And might I add...

she looks ridiculously fabulous in like EVERY picture!